Losing my loyalty

I returned from a vacation in Washington and British Columbia to find a broken air conditioner. Now, if you're from Texas, you've probably experienced a broken AC in the summertime before. It's one of those experiences that make Texans who they are -- like crawling onto a pile of fire ants at least once during infancy, or buying that first pair of cowboy boots. As a kid, I looked forward to the AC shutting down. That meant we'd go into survival mode -- milkshakes and smoothies and mornings at the pool and afternoons at the library. The adults were never as excited, though.

I guess I've joined the realm of adults, because when I walked into my apartment late on Friday night, felt that wave of heat, heard the overheated smoke alarms beeping, and saw the needle on my thermostat maxed out at 105, I just wanted to be back in Seattle.

I didn't pick the best week to come back to Texas, either. This is the forecast for Bellingham, where my grandparents live:



And this is the forecast for Denton:



That's hot, folks. That's the type of heat that can knock you over. It smothers your breath before it has a chance to escape. It turns blue skies gray and green grass brown, and it makes the whole world shimmer like it's trapped under water.

I love visiting the Northwest. I love everything about it, from paddling Lake Union in Seattle to hiking Grouse Mountain in Vancouver, from drinking single malt scotch with my grandfather as we watch the sun set over the bay to eating salmon and halibut and sablefish by the water. The best part, though, may be all the things I don't do while I'm there.

-I don't drink 1072 oz of water each day to keep from getting headaches.
-I don't get up at 5 a.m. to run before the temperatures hit triple digits.
-I don't hear my smoke alarms beeping all night because my AC quit on me.
-I don't put said smoke alarms in the fridge to cool them off when the 97-degree night air won't do the trick. (Is cooling smoke alarms in fridges even legal? I tried googleing it but got no hits.)
-I don't stick my head in the freezer to cool off.
-I don't take cold showers or eat copious amounts of ice cream or sprawl out on the tile floor or do anything else to lower my body temperature.
-I don't ever confuse myself with a vampire. I go out during the day. I open windows and blinds during the day. I don't hide from the sun. In fact, I love the sun.

Suffice to say, if the temperatures insist on staying in the triple digits for a third and fourth month, this Texan may just be bidding farewell to her native land.