Fighting the clock

I stress about arriving to standardized tests, the way most people stress about catching a flight. I'd prefer to be nice and early, leaving plenty of time for sitting in the waiting room. Those of you like me, be advised: Don't take a literature GRE test in Mexico.

My test was scheduled for 9 a.m. on Saturday morning. My alarm sounded at 6:30, and I jumped on the mad train ride that I hoped would end with me sitting in a desk at the UDLA in Cholula.

I opted against a bus, since I didn't know the route to the UDLA and didn't want to risk anything. Instead, I called a taxi. Unfortunately, the taxi company didn't answer. So I went to the nearest major road and flagged one down. The driver offered me an exorbitant price, but I was too anxious to arrive at the test to argue. I climbed in the cab.

Cholula was not to be our first stop, however. My driver told me he didn't have change, and unless I had the exact amount, we'd have to stop at a convenience store. We pulled into one, but it wasn't open, and gas pumpers refused to make change. Next we tried an Oxxo, but gas stations aren't exactly loaded with cash early in the morning. The taxi driver said he'd take care of it. He left his cab parked in the middle of the parking lot, still running. Soon, cars began to pile up behind me. I sat in the smelly cab, wondering where the driver had gone with my money, listening to the horns honking behind me, and reassuring myself with the fact that his cab probably cost more than 500 pesos. Eventually, he returned with the change.

We were finally on our way to Cholula. I told him I had to be there by 8:10. I was glad I left so much extra time; the campus was much bigger than I had anticipated. He dropped me off near what I thought was my building. It was empty. A lone man directed me to the business office. There, I was greeted by a crowd of students wearing "STAFF" name tags. That looked promising. None of them had heard of a GRE test, though. They pointed me to another building. I found myself in a computer lab filled with costumed college kids. I was skeptical. Most of them had no idea what I was talking about, but I eventually found a ghost who was knowledgeable. I walked until I found the "orange building" and saw a piece of computer paper with the letters "GRE" printed on it.

I needn't have worried about being late. This is Mexico, after all, and even when administering an American exam, it cannot act contrary to its nature. We stood outside in the cold until everyone had arrived. We didn't begin testing until 9:15. Our proctor solved that small problem by changing the room's clock back to 9. There, right on schedule.